So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
