why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
