theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
