Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
