I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
