Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
