i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
