Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Two words: blizzard sex
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
