my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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