..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize