so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
