Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
