like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
