Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's shark week go big or go home
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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