how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
