I hate your face
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
