maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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