everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
