I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
