wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
