I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Randomize
