so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
