You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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