she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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