New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
