Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
