how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
