Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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