Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
