We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
