i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
