Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
