Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
