Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
