my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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