Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
