another moral hangover. fuck.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
MIDGETS
????
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
