I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
