I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I know her cup size but not her name....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize