She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
