puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
