If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
