New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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