Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
