I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
