this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got inside last night via doggy door
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
