Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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