i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
