That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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