Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
