Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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