i jhust puked up my retainher.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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