Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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