I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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