Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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