Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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