I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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