GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
40s are totally the cure
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
