omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
