He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
