we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
