I love having hate sex.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
