He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize